Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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