I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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