East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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