Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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