Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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