If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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