You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
