I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
