I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This house was built for laser tag.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
