Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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