dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I puked a lego.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
