i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
