out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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