So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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