Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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