your thong is hanging out like whoa
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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