i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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