Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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