I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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