just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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