with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
