come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
