I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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