That's when you crack a 10am beer
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
