Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize