The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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