I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I did not marry a roomba.
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