they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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