oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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