Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
