It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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