dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize