already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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