so explain again why im purple
no
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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