Dual....:-)
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
