The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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