i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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