Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
