2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize