About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
