brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If i come over, it means nothing
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
