We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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