Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
