he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
