that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize