at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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