What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
