Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I could fuck to npr.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
