So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
