What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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