It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
