i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
