this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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