I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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