I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
