She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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