He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
