just come out here and I will go home with you...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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