I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
