DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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